ten year reunion

On my way home from my therapy session tonight, "Ready or Not" by the Fugees began to play on the radio, and I was transported back in time to ten years ago, when I was a 19-year old freshman at MIT. Mind you, the Fugees' "The Score" came out earlier in 1996 - but it wasn't until 1998 that I began to acquire mp3's by my new friends and was able to play the song over and over in my dorm room.

As I sat in my car parked in front of my apartment with just the radio on so I could enjoy the song from start to finish, it just hit me: I've been struggling with my worst bout of depression for ten years...
Ten years ago from today was just before "the" depression began. It all started with a theater audition with my best friend. She didn't get a part in the play, but I did. Since that point, she became more anxious, more angry about everything, and then more abusive towards me...
I never fully got over it.
As I have processed the relationship over the years, I realize now that what hurt the most was not so much what she did, but more what the people around me did - or did not do. Not all of my friends knew what was going on, but some did. No one told me that it was wrong and that I didn't have to take it, that things would be okay if I left her. Not even the counselor I saw at MIT. Not even my women's small group leader. It was only my sister who, after hearing what happened once my freshman year had ended, told me that what that friend did was wrong and I didn't deserve it and that I had to leave the relationship. Things didn't resolve so simply after that, but have mostly resolved now.

Hearing that song in the car reminded me of the person I was ten years ago: A happy-go-lucky girl with a dark streak but who felt excited by life and people. A girl who had no idea that in a matter of weeks, her life would be changed for the rest of her life for the next ten years. I still know that girl, but she's hit a lot of spikes along the way and is still working on getting those wounds healed - but what can you do? The show must go on...

What is this song about anyways? I love it anyhow.